


And we're not out of the tunnel (I bet you though there's an end)

by Gayasshit_ye_9



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: :(, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm being a little mean to Helena, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:02:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayasshit_ye_9/pseuds/Gayasshit_ye_9
Summary: The birds are out on yet another mission to take down a crime overlord, yet something takes an unexpected route.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 16
Kudos: 97





	And we're not out of the tunnel (I bet you though there's an end)

**Author's Note:**

> I did extensive research and also got someone to beta read to try and portray PTSD and panic attacks correctly, please leave some constructive criticism if something was misleading:)  
> Also, the prompt is based on the song “I will” by Mitski, the idea is none others than mulletfangs on Tumblr. As it might be clear from the tag tho, I’m not the first one, but hey it’s a fic and I really hope it’s enjoyable! Tho after reading the other one I’d rather leave a million kudos on that, than one on this

_I will take good care of you_

_I will take good care of you_

_Everything you feel is good_

_If you would only let you_

Her radio spews out notes in a static, but it’s there nonetheless. Combined with the wind in her hair, Dinah is relaxed, at least as relaxed as the criminal haven allows her to be. A thought about tonight’s mission is lingering at the back of her mind, it’s a worried one, but she pushes it away, the birds can handle it. Her, Helena and Renee, they can handle it. 

_Helena_ , the name is singing in her mind just a few seconds longer than normal, an image of that sweet goofball of a killing machine appearing too. She lets herself smile while riding down the busy streets of Gotham.

.

At this point, their missions were usually the same, criminals in Gotham apparently only cared for drugs, human trafficking, illegal transport of weapons or money fraud (if not all of the above). And if they didn’t, they weren’t that significant in the crime world anyway. So when Renee explained the day before that she got clues on a drug overlord’s whereabouts the following night, as well as a plan, it didn’t earn any raised eyebrows. Especially not when it was by the docks, because of course it was. 

What did earn raised eyebrows though, was the sheer amount of weapons and crossbow bolts Helena dumped on the table while they were preparing. Well, only one eyebrow and slight head shake from Renee, as she wasn’t really surprised, much less did she want to get into it. 

“Holy shit, H, what do you need all this for?” Dinah asked, raising her eyebrows while approaching the table. 

“I want to be properly prepared.” Helena glances briefly at her before continuing to sort and store the weapons onto herself. Her movements were precise and concentrated. Something seemed off to Dinah, yet she shrugged it off, it probably didn’t mean anything. 

.

Their plan was relatively simple, the crime boss they were dealing with was of the bigger kind but nothing they couldn’t handle. He also wasn’t even in the warehouse yet, he was gonna show up later when the deal would take place. Huntress was to sneak into the warehouse and scout the area, something which was her usual job (seriously she could sneak so well it’s almost like she has a mute feature on herself), and the other birds would wait for her signal before storming the place. 

The wind was picking up as she silently climbed the building, her hair whirling around while her body worked like machinery. Huntress had lost count of the number of times their enemy was hidden in a warehouse, yet she couldn’t care less. While her instincts and senses were at their highest during a mission, there was something gentle about the chilly breeze on a rooftop that made Helena almost want to stop. Almost. The only things stopping her were the mission and the faint, nudging of the possibility that something could go wrong. She had to stop and calm her breathing before continuing.

Concentrating on keeping her weight distributed to not make noise on the more run-down areas of the roof, Huntress made her way over to the glass parts of the ceiling. Most warehouses didn’t have this glass roof, but those who did were the best for surprise attacks. Whether there were many or few men, she could decide if the scene required a quiet way to crawl in, or a dramatic breaking of glass to buy time and the upper hand. 

As Huntress carefully looked out over the large room, she only spotted a few guys, mostly hanging out at the edges, a few were near the entrance but not too much for her fellow birds to handle. She had expected more, but maybe they would come later. For now, a quiet approach would suffice, as her crossbow could easily rid of several of the goons before anyone would even notice. It would also give her an opportunity to get more insight into the warehouse and possibly spot more guys.

The first hit went great, a silent bolt going right through some guy’s throat, his lifeless form falling to the floor. Luckily it created no echo in the mostly empty warehouse. Huntress exhaled slowly, getting ready to find her next target. She had to focus for a few extra seconds to slow her heart rate again, there was no place for distractions now. Her climb in the ceiling going quickly, while her eyes were like an eagle’s on the look for their next prey. 

Another guy went down just as muted, followed by a few others. For a split second, Huntress let herself scoff and think it was almost too easy, but she pushed it away and was right back to scouting out the area and making it safer for her birds to enter. 

It took her a few more minutes of stealthy assassination before whispering into her earpiece, it was time for the other birds to have a piece of the prey as well. She heard a brief “about time” grumbled from none other than Montoya, yet she paid her no mind, that damn ex-cop would never grow patience even if she got a million dollars for it. 

The birds entered quietly, but there could soon be heard grunts and cries as Canary let her kicks take down guy after guy. Montoya let out some less dramatic huffs, but was less of a make-sound-for-every-damn-punch type, as she had said herself. Huntress joins them with a graceful drop from the ceiling. Soon, they were almost effortlessly killing every goon in sight. 

They were quickly done, every guy that dared to come out were knocked unconscious. All that remained was to wait for the drug overlord’s customers to arrive together with him. Easy stuff. At least that’s what all three birds were thinking at that moment. 

This thought was immediately demolished as the overlord arrived. The team was hidden behind various stacks of crates when they came, but as soon as they got up and got ready to strike, there were men with automated rifles at the ready. A close call, yet all three were able to hide again as the bullets flew at incredible speeds in all directions, completely obliterating the crates closest to the shooters. A waste of bullets really, but it worked in the birds’ favour. 

Huntress felt her mind going blank, yet her thoughts were racing. _Those sounds._ Helena’s heart threatened to beat out of her chest, her throat closing. _Those guns._ Suddenly she felt everything flushing over her at once, memories ripping at her entire self. _Those bullets._ In a desperate surge, she grabbed for the purple toy car, but it wasn’t there. _Oh god, where is it?_ It wasn’t there, it was nowhere, at the moment she couldn’t even remember where she could’ve possibly put it. Her brother’s car, it was her brother’s car. _Pino._

The name burned her, seared her flesh. _My family._ The thought of her entire family washed over her like a tsunami, she was drowning. She tried to breathe, to no avail. She tried to find the car again, nothing. All she could feel was the sudden pressure. The pressure of her mother and her father was threatening to strangle her. And the warmth, the last warmth her family would ever emit, the rest leaking out as blood that would end up covering every surface. The walls, the carpet, the furniture, her face, her mind. Her mind forever tinted with the burgundy fluid. 

_Fuck_ , Canary though as she had jumped back behind the crates for cover. One of the guys they had taken down must have alerted their boss. Looks like the birds weren’t as stealthy as they thought. She let out a careful sigh once the fire was over. Still not daring to get up, she looked over to where her teammates were sitting, immediately alerted by the way Montoya stared at her like she had been trying to get her attention for a long time. When she followed her frantic eying over to the bird sitting in between them, her heart nearly stopped. 

Right there, too far to reach was an absolutely frantic Helena, eyes wide open, while her hands were grasping her head. Her form was hunched over and her back indicating how fast she was gasping for air. Canary looked around violently to try to see their surroundings. To her great dislike, guys were coming in high numbers, there were too many. In a frantic rush, she motions for Montoya to hold over her ears. There was only one way to get this under control. There was only one way for Dinah to reach and save Helena from the incoming wave. 

Without hesitation, she rose and released her canary cry. Great waves of sound knocking guys back in the high numbers. Not quite the numbers black mask had to offer that one time (which she definitely wouldn’t be able to handle today), but it was the numbers that could save Helena and that was all that mattered then. 

She had to stop before she got too weak. As she stopped she saw Montoya get up and start to take care of the few remaining guys, her quick motion for Dinah to get to Helena almost made her smile, almost. She gave a small nod instead. Catching her breath, she went back to her task at hand.

Helena was still frantically heaving and clutching her own head when Dinah came to her side. “Helena,” she tried, but when her hand reached the woman’s shoulder it only ended in a panicked cry, her entire body turning away from the touch. “H, it's me, it’s Dinah, it’s ok,” Using her entire willpower, Dinah tried to keep her voice as steady and reassuring as possible. If it weren’t for the fact that Helena was having a panic attack, she would’ve wanted to cry. “Look at me, Helena, breathe, you’re ok,” Dinah said softly, once again trying to put her hands on Helena’s shoulders. This time, Helena didn’t pull away, but her breathing and shaking didn’t calm. 

“Helena, focus on my hand, I want you to look at my hand and focus on your breathing ok? Can you do that for me, baby?” Dinah carefully placed her hand on the other woman’s stomach. Telling her to breathe several times until there are eyes on the hand gently resting on her abdomen. Slowly, Helena’s breathing decreased, her eyes focusing hard on the hand. 

_And we're not out of the tunnel_

_I bet you though there's an end_

Dinah started singing softly, her voice threatening to break, yet she kept going, for Helena. Her other hand went carefully around Helena’s shoulders to pull her closer to herself. 

_Stay with me_

_Hold my hand_

At the last words, a shaky hand landed on Dinah’s and Helena’s focus was gradually shifting from her breathing to the voice she was hearing. That angelic voice, liquid gold in the form of sound. That warm hand now resting inside her own.

_There's no need_

_To be brave_

As Dinah eventually finished singing, she didn’t move. She whispered reassuring words instead, slowly tracing her fingers up and down Helena’s upper arm. Patiently waiting until she would finally get the full attention of the woman in her arms. Around them, a few grunts escaped the mouths of the remaining goons, but nothing alarming. Dinah felt a rush of relief as a hand made it’s way up to touch her cheek. A warm smile lighting down at Helena. 

“Are you ok? Are you hurt?” She questioned as Helena tried to sit more upright. From the looks of it, there were no wounds, but she had to be sure. Helena nodded then shook her head. She didn’t trust her own voice right then and there. 

“Let’s go home.” Dinah concluded before placing Helena’s arm over her shoulders and getting up slowly. “I’m not crippled, you know.” The assassin commented weakly, merely coming out as a grumble. Dinah just shook her head and kept walking. On their way out, they had to avoid tripping over guys who were piled all over the floor. Just to be sure, Dinah found Renee who was clear she had it all under control and basically shooed them away before something else could go wrong. 

.

When the two girls arrived home at their shared apartment, they were both hesitant over what to do. Unsure of whether or not they should talk about it. Dinah knew it was heavy but decided they should at least try. Seeing how Helena was shuffling and fidgeting in place, almost frozen in the middle of their living room, made her worry again. 

“Helena, what happened out there?” She asked, hoping it wasn’t too much right now. Helena looked unsure, uncertain, almost ready to flee at any second. Eventually, she just sighed and looked down to the floor.

“I don’t know, I just- I don’t think I’ve ever heard guns like that since…” She trailed off, looking anywhere but at Dinah. A fold showed up between her eyebrows, something Dinah usually found so adorable, but now it woke more concern than awe. She knew what Helena meant, and also knew not to push more on that particular subject. Instead, she walked closer and carefully took the woman’s hands in her own. They were calloused but soft and warm. 

“I know that… there’s not much I can do to help but… just know that you will never have to face anything alone,” The smaller girl looked up into deep eyes. Those eyes who could hold an entire world of trauma and emotion, but also love, Dinah knew it, she had seen it before when Helena looked at Cass, Renee, hell, even Harley got a small share of it. What she loved the most was that the same love would be pointed at herself sometimes, something which warmed her heart.

“I’m here for you, baby,” At those words, she could almost hear a faint gasp from Helena, but best of all, those dark eyes were beginning to fill with love again, fear slowly retreating. “I’ll take care of you if you’ll let me.” Dinah nearly whispered, carefully cupping Helena’s cheek, who almost immediately leaned into the touch and closed her eyes. 

“A waste of time really.” A faint whisper escaped Helena’s lips as her eyebrows had wrinkled again. She put her own hand over Dinah’s. 

“No, not if it’s you. You matter to me.” Dinah was cupping both of her cheeks now, framing the faint blush that had grown onto the pale woman’s face. Both of them thinking about how they were so close together, how their hearts were so close together. 

Helena was pretty sure she had never seen Dinah look so fondly at, well, anything. It made her face heat up further, and when Dinah suddenly placed a quick peck to her cheek, her mind nearly went blank. Thankfully this went unnoticed as Dinah was already pulling her along after suggesting they get a warm shower. 

.

Feeling the warm stream of water envelope and the gentle touch of Dinah holding her hand, made Helena realize there had been a numbness inside of her for so long, an empty space. And as her ears were filled with the sound of running water and that beautiful singing voice, her heart fluttered. 

_I will wash your hair at night_

_And dry it off with care_

Steady, loving hands worked shampoo into the taller woman’s nest of dark brown locks, nails carefully scraping her scalp. Helena’s eyes were closed, but she could feel Dinah’s warm breath on her neck, it only disappeared faintly to rinse her hair. It returns again when she came back to the next lines of the song. As if on cue, Helena felt her chest get warm and tight in the best way possible. 

_I will see your body bare_

_And still I will live here_

Dinah places a hand carefully on top of Helena’s chest, above where her heart is. A wide smile and warm eyes looking up at her, dimples more visible than ever. The sight alone, combined with the gesture made the assassin’s heart skip a beat. She could only smile, all other thoughts forgotten, pushed away. There was only Dinah, there was only that beautiful songbird in front of her.

Neither of them really knew who it was who moved first, yet before they knew it, their lips were pressed together. Gentle hands holding the songbird’s hips, pulling her closer. They quickly had to resurface for air and as she couldn’t stop smiling, Helena put her forehead on Dinah’s but ultimately ended up nuzzled into her neck. Dinah could feel the smile against her neck, and the strong hands holding her as close as physically possible. Laughing lightly and lovingly, she put her arms around her new love, gently stroking through her hair before opening her mouth again. Faint whispers of song escaping, yet still of the most beautiful kind Helena had and would ever hear.

_'Cause all I ever wanted is here_

_All I ever wanted_

_All I want is_

_Always you_

_It's always you_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed, feel free to leave a comment, I really appreciate feedback! <3


End file.
